Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Stop eyeglass slipping the easy way, the Keepons eyeglass retainer way

So you’re trying to set up your best friend for life Linda with the new guy in Marketing, Greg.

Greg seems cool, happy go lucky, like he’d make a good father and supportive husband.

You yourself, life is amazing. You’ve been married for about a year now. Has it really been a year you think to yourself. You married Todd, whom you’ve known since high school. You always knew it would be him, but you guys were on again and off again. He went to Africa to work with Doctors Without Frontiers. Yeah he’s a doctor.

And you’re a lawyer. Yup a real cliché of a family.

You imagine how you and Todd will try to pull your children into each of your chosen professions, it should be a delight.

So getting back to Linda.

Lind’s pretty but she keeps it well-hidden. She’s a criminal lawyer so she dresses all power and attitude with expensive suits, but her glasses make her look like a librarian. And the way they keep falling down, a nerdy librarian at that.

Isn’t that how it always works?

It works for you so you want to share happiness with your friend too?

You got married and now you want that for Linda too.

And several months ago, you got Keepons eyeglass retainers after seeing it on Twitter, loved it, and now you want to get it for Linda too.

Despite your busy schedule, you spend 5 minutes after lunch getting her the basic 5 pack, that way she can select which Keepons she’d like to use. Hey it’s not like they’re expensive, only 22 USD for the five most popular styles and that includes free shipping and tracking number. And you’ve known her since you guys were in grade 3 together, with that awful teacher…Miss Crabbe. Yuck!

Two weeks later they come in the mail and during sushi you ask Linda to hand you her glasses and you twist the Keepons original clears onto them for her and ask her to put them on.

And just like that, her glasses don’t slip and just like that, she’s like another person, full of smiles and full of happy.

What are these she asks?

They’re called Keepons from Hong Kong. Eyeglass retainers to stop slipping glasses.

I’ll drink to that, she says.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Please tell me how to stop my glasses from falling down my nose

And once something good happens it can be like a snowball effect. The minute my glasses started NOT to slip anymore because of my Keepons eyeglasses retainers I started having all these ideas. I didn’t really think of them, they just appeared in my head from the new found freedom I was enjoying.

I told myself I was going to start going out more and not be a prisoner in my own home. Which is true since for as long as I remember all I do is go to work, then come home, surf the net and oh yeah spend at least 3 hours a night playing World of Warcraft.

And did I mention I don’t have a girlfriend.

I’m not exactly attractive but since my glasses don’t slip I think I can go a long way to improving how I look.

I’m going to get my haircut and start dressing my age.

My friends tell me I dress like I did in college and even in college I dressed like a kid. I wear shorts everywhere I go, and at work my pants and really baggy and I wear dress runners which are really nice Air Jordans that are in black suede so they don’t look like traditional running shoes.

I don’t know why I’ve been like this, why I’ve refused to grow up. I guess I felt there was nothing to live for, but my Keepons eyeglass retainers have shown me that life is indeed remarkable and it’s time to move on to the next part of the adventure, relationships, travel, maybe finally writing that novel I’ve been saying I would write since grade 5 English class.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Keepons solves the problem of slipping glasses in a scientific way

Could this be the solution not only to my falling glasses but that spark, that catalyst which could change my life?

Perhaps but he did not want to get over-excited because he did not want to jinx it.

But seeing is so important and these glasses always falling make me feel like crap, he thought to himself.

I always feel like a loser, like people can’t accept me.

I wonder if this is self-persecution he thought to himself.

Then the lyrics to Angel by Sarah Mclachlan came into his brain about waiting for that big break to make everything okay. He wanted to google it but couldn’t be bothered.

It had been a hard day, a lot of pointless meetings with bosses who would never get it, that to get people to be really efficient all you had to do was follow two simple rules. Be nice to them, really nice and not fake nice. And let them work on stuff that they’re really passionate about instead of micro-managing them.

That and let them listen to music while they work like the Seven Little Dwarves whistling while they worked. He giggled at that.

After that first time, he went back to the chamightlike.com site every now and then. He was the world’s biggest procrastinator.

Perhaps I don’t deserve to get my life straightened out.

Maybe this is just what I need because if things go well, hubris will derail me.

A friend of his had once suggested that he was a Narcissist in the clinical sense.

So he went to Wikipedia and looked it up and yup it fit him.

Monday, March 19, 2012

The why and how to stop your slipping glasses with Keepons for glasses

Same crap, different day. It’s been like that for what, how long now? Well let’s see you’ve been out of school for 12 years now. And to be honest the first year was ok because you were still fresh and young and idealistic.

But now you’ve seen it all. You’ve seen yourself work your butt off for 7 years at this dump, bring in enough business to put the boss’s son through college a thousand times over, and then just when you were about to get what was owed to you, your desire position was given to said boss’s fresh graduate son.

So you’ve taken the day off and went to the range hit a bucket. Then went to the pub for a brew and a cigar. Just to clear your mind and make plans for the most important person in your life – yourself. Either get yourself a better job or go into business for yourself. You’ve saved up some and it makes sense: if you’re going to break your back to make someone rich that potentially wealthy beneficiary might as well be yourself.

The next day you go to work without a care in the world. It’s ok that the boss’s son is now in charge, because your future is looking brighter than it could ever look at this place. You push up your glasses with a determined look on your face.

And to show you mean business you’re going to get those Keepons eyeglass retainers you’ve had your eye on for the last couple of weeks. A successful man looks successful, and successful isn’t eyeglasses that slip down your nose all the time. Ten days later, your Keepons arrive and then your whole life begins to change for the better. Beginning with your resignation letter to your boss.